Are you thinking, “These are two words I have never used in the same sentence.” Maybe what’s going through your head is, “I don’t even know what emo is.” Or you could be thinking “I don’t buy into the Jesus stuff dude, this blog is going to be trash.” 

WELP. BUCKLE UP!

Easter was a few weeks ago. For many this is a holiday where we have a nice meal with our family, hide plastic eggs filled with candy for the kids to find, and give baskets full of candy and Spring themed gifts. Oh yeah, and there’s a bunny. (In my opinion, the best representation of the Easter Bunny is in the movie “Rise of the Guardians”. The Easter Bunny being Australian is SO GOOD!) From a Christian perspective, Easter (also called Resurrection Sunday) is the most important holiday. We celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, the Son of God, who died for the sins of the world. 

If you’re reading this and you’re a Christian/theologian and you’re going “Bro there is so much more to it than that.” God bless you, hit me up, we can talk more. If you’re reading this and you’re going “can we chill with the Jesus stuff?” God bless you too, hit me up, we can talk more! 

Let’s talk about Emo. Emo has had many eras and many dress codes. If you ask a 35-45 year old and a 15-25 year old what it is, you will get wildly different answers. Don’t even think about asking a 26-34 year old, they have the worst answers! (That’s a joke. Don’t go cry about it…unless you’re going to write a song about it. An EMO song of course!) Emo music can be whiny, but it’s meant to be emotional. Real emo makes you feel something. It demands emotion. Sometimes it’s nasally and pitchy singing, sometimes it’s screaming, sometimes it’s pitchy yelling singing. (Yes, I just said those 3 words together as if they were one. Pitchyellsing, it’s the truest form of Emo, ask anyone aged 15-45!) Someone somewhere is going to read this and go “Mi Landing doesn’t know what EMO is and that’s why he’s fake EMO.” And to that I will say…God bless you! Hit me up, we can talk more!

Let’s dive into the Jesus thing some more. 

As I’ve said before, I am a Christian. Mi Landing is not a Christian band, I’ll probably never tour with Brandon Lake, Lecrae, or Stryper. (Though, Stryper would be SO COOL to play a show with because those dudes RIP.) I am so far from perfect, and I don’t think I’m better than anyone because of what I believe, but when I’m truly living out my faith, my life is better. Christians (and people pretending to be Christians) have done some terrible things, and even though we all mess up, it’s harder to recover when you preach one thing and do another. If you aren’t a Christian and you’ve never heard anyone say this, let me be the first. Christians are people and people do stupid things. We aren’t incapable of messing up, and when we do, we should be honest about it, seek forgiveness, and make right our wrongs. Everybody, no matter what you claim to believe, makes mistakes. Forgiveness can be hard. Grace can be difficult. It’s easy to label people heretics and hypocrites. The truth is, we ALL need help. You never grow out of needing help. You will never be perfect. It’s a shame some people build platforms where they are protected from accountability, both within the religious space and outside of it (Yes, that includes politics…triggered? God bless you, hit me up, we can talk more!). My faith has helped me through so much. Next month’s blog will be about my Dad passing. Without my faith, I don’t know how I would’ve made it through losing him. The timing of me coming back to faith and him passing I truly believe was God’s timing. My faith in God gives me hope for a life beyond this one, comforts me when I am going through struggles, and gives me a beautiful perspective on the world. BUT, it’s not always easy. I’ve had many cracks in my faith, ESPECIALLY when I am going through times of sorrow and darkness. I spent years wrestling with suicidal ideation. I’ve been treated poorly by people I trusted. I’ve been lied to while the person looked me in my eyes. I’ve struggled many times (and still do) with feeling purposeless and lost. (Typical artist feelings!) These are the times my faith has been tested. These are the trials when I have leaned into my faith, and when I have leaned away from it. My experience is, when I lean into faith, at some point, it does get better. When I lean away from it, I never get anywhere. There’s so many scenarios and finer details we could go into here, spiritually, psychologically, emotionally, and to that I say… GOD BLESS YOU. HIT ME UP. WE CAN TALK MORE! But I stand by what I just said. Eventually, my faith has always helped me. Thank you God! 

Now, as pro-faith as I am, I often feel alone in my faith convictions. I meet very few Christians who get the whole “emo” thing. Here’s some things I hear…

1. “God is good. You should be happy. Stop writing sad songs.”

2. “There’s joy in the Lord. Stop writing sad songs.”

3. “Jesus didn’t die so you could be sad.”

To the Christian emo kids reading this (whether you’re 15 or 45), thank you for understanding me. You already know where I’m going with this. To anyone reading this and totally lost, let me explain…

1. God is good, but that doesn’t mean you won’t have times of sadness. People who think God wants you to be happy all the time have never been tested in their faith, or don’t believe in the same God I do. The bible is full of people who went through tough times and Jesus himself wept. Stop pretending the world won’t hit you with something sad. 

2. There is joy in the Lord, but that doesn’t mean that joy won’t be tested. We are human, we do not have the same level of joy every minute of every day. Your joy being tested is a GOOD thing. 

3. The fact Jesus had to die is SAD. Yes, it brought hope and salvation, but if you’ve ever been to a Good Friday service, it’s not full of happy songs and joy. We reflect on Jesus' death. We ponder how corrupt and broken the world is. We feel a sense of sadness in the sacrifice. There’s an ounce of truth in “Jesus didn’t die so you could be sad”, but I’ve never heard that said in a way that offers any help. It’s been said in a way that translates to “buck up kid, I don't want to understand what you’re going through so I’m just going to make a bold statement so I can feel better about the lack of sadness in my life, or the amount of sadness I’m dealing with that I’m not man enough to open up about.” Jesus died so we could have hope. Hope isn’t always an easy road. 

Now, let’s dive into Emo some more.

In a world where robots are making music (yes I just called out AI music. It’s fake, it sucks, it’s not art, and AI will kill us faster than we can kill each other. Hot take. Triggered? God bless you. Hit me up. We can talk more.), they will never be able to recreate true, pure, REAL human emotion. The thing that drew me to emo music (and all screaming music) was the undeniable emotion and passion in it. The first time I heard a vocalist yell or crack his voice, I was hooked. It sounded so raw, so real, so honest, and so freakin cool! We’re going to take a quick break from the philosophy and soap box type ranting, and I’m going to list some vocalists who have inspired me and to some degree fit under the Emo category. Gatekeepers, YE BE WARNED. 

1. Adam Lazzara-Taking Back Sunday

2. John Nolan-Straylight Run

3. Aaron Gillespie-Underoath/The Almost

4. Kenny Vasoli-The Starting Line

5. Cory Brandon-Norma Jean (not emo, but amazing vocalist!)

6. Jesse Lacey-Brand New

There’s so many more we could address, but these are ones who are influential to me. If you listen to any of these vocalists, they all can crack their voice, yell, or do this super cool thing where you let the end of the note fall down and it sounds so emo and awesome. These are all vocalists who have inspired and influenced me to be the vocalist I am today, and whose music has meant so much to me since I was 13. Emo music is emotional. You can’t help but feel something when you listen to it. Maybe that feeling is “this music sucks. Stop being so sad, you whiny human!” Or maybe, that feeling is “I feel so understood. This song relates to my life deeply. Thank you for expressing my emotions for me, oh artist of Emo!” Love it or hate it, Emo has made its mark in music. I was an angsty Emo teen, some would even say I was a “Scene Kid” (if you know, you know, if you don’t, google it, I don’t have the words right now haha). I bought all my shirts from Hot Topic or from merch tables at shows. 99% of them were band Tees. If you know me, you know I still rock the band tees, and I will never stop! Yes, over 70% are black. Emo kids love black. Black shirts, black skinny jeans, black hair, black eyeliner (before you ask, NO, i DID NOT wear guyliner!), there’s a lot of black because black is oftentimes associated with sorrow/sadness and we are legitimately wearing our emotions. We had our bangs over our eyes to try and hide the sadness. Also because we thought it looked cool. Hot Topic was our store. Going to shows were our religious gatherings. Bonding over bands, their songs, lyrics, and how we all felt alone but got to be reminded in a sweaty room with a dude in tight jeans who keeps flipping his hair and yelling into a mic, made us feel happy in our sadness. This is the beauty of EMO.

This is the part where I attempt to connect the dots. Keep reading, it’s going to be… something. There’s an Easter egg hiding in these words, you just got to find it! 

So, how do we land this emotional faith plane we’ve been flying around on? “Paul, we get it. You believe in Jesus but you’re also sad. Cool story bro. Go write a song about it.” 

Challenge accepted! (I still have to record it, but it has been written!) Here’s how we’re landing this thing…

You can be a Christian and write sad songs. 

You can be a Christian and connect with sad music. 

You can have joy in the Lord and go through a trial that will make you sad. It doesn’t change who Jesus is, it changes how you handle things moving forward. It doesn’t change who Jesus is, it changes how you connect with others who go through hard times. It doesn’t change who Jesus is, it changes what you make of the artistic gift He’s given you. 

Not everyone can write a song, but everyone can listen to one. Not everyone goes through the same things you do in the same way, but everyone can learn something from you sharing your experience. You have no idea who can be encouraged and comforted from your sad song, especially if you write it from a place of honesty and hope. The point isn’t to sell sadness, the point is to address reality, and reality can be sad. If we all try to get through life without any hope and honesty, it’s going to be significantly sadder than any emo song. 

My faith NEVER made darkness and sadness not exist, it helped me get through them. If you’ve made it this far in this blog and you’re thinking “I’m still not interested in this whole Jesus thing” I want you to know I don’t have all the answers, but I’ll tell you what I know. (And I’ll pray for you!) You can believe in Jesus and write Emo songs. Jesus-Emo is an unofficial genre of music and I think it will grow as the world decays, but as hope rises. Regardless of what you believe or don’t believe, there is much to learn in songs of sadness. If 1 person feels the slightest bit understood from an emo song, it’s worth the saddest of songs. 

Here’s what’s coming next with the Mi Landing Blog!

• Good Grief, God, & Remembering My Father (May)

• 2 Decades Under Much Inspiration (June)

• What If the What Ifs Were True? (July)

• Good Idea! Too Bad You Won’t Do it (August)

• Not Plain White Band T’s (September)

• 19 Years of “I Don’t Drink” and How I’m Still Messed Up (October) 

• That One Time I Missed Thanksgiving (November)

• Another One Down (December) 

Stay tuned. Through the ups and downs we go!

-Paul

Do you ever ask yourself that? “What am I doing?” Or if you’re really going through it, you’re like me and you go “WHAT THE FLIP AM I DOING?!” It’s real ya’ll. I think we all do it sometimes. Life gets wild. We feel lost, not in control, broke, broken, tired, frustrated… As I write those words, I’m thinking “wow, way to use the most overused and relatable words” but honestly, those have been my words for awhile.

The last 6 months externally haven’t looked too different. I work 2 jobs. I have at least 1 band practice a week (either P&SS or ML). I stay out or up too late AT LEAST 1 night a week. I sleep in too long AT LEAST twice a week. I don’t get enough done but I roll with it and keep moving. Band practice is good! It’s always a fun time and it’s important when you are also recording and getting ready to book shows. Sometimes I’m up too late because I can’t sleep. Usually it’s because I’m at a show or being social (which surprisingly I am finding I have a limit. Is this what growing up feels like?!). I sleep in too late because I tell myself “I don’t NEED to be up at 7am, 8:30am is fine.” But then I’m rushing out and feel behind for the first 2 hours of my day. Then due to all of those factors, the “To Do List” (that dreadful and wicked thing) falls behind and by the end of the week I’m going “welp…at least I got a few things done…these other 500 things can wait.” But, outside of a very short list of people, you’d never know this. My life looks GREAT. I do all the things, things I genuinely enjoy and am passionate about. I have 2 jobs that I LOVE (my church and Sabbath Coffee!) and I love the people I work with. I have a long list of people I love dearly and care about and do my best to communicate with them (calls and texts) and of course spend time with them! I’ve had some cool things happen in my music career the last 2 years, and even though it’s not where I thought I would be (there will be a blog about having your band breakup 2 weeks before graduation and questioning your existence sometime in the future) I’m still playing shows, solo, with my band Poems & Short Stories, and Fill Wickhamm & the Step Downs. Plus, I’m learning more in the studio and as frustrating as it can be, I see where it’s going to be worth it. Externally, my life looks GREAT. But internally…

The last 6 months internally have been ugly. Knocking at the door was reality. It kept knocking and yelling “you can’t run forever. You know you can’t keep living like this. You aren’t happy and the more you keep doing all this the less it works but you keep denying it.” I felt stressed, drained, and unsure. There was more than a glimmer of hope, however, there was a sky full of it. I simply wasn’t looking at it. Often times there is an answer and there is help, guidance, hope and love so close to us, but we get distracted. My distraction was starting this year with the end of it in sight. (We will unpack this idea down the road, because I think it’s loaded with perspective. If 12 blogs go by and I still haven’t addressed it, come at me!) I had established “I’m 99% sure this is where things are going so let’s just get there.” WOW. GREAT ATTITUDE. I have loosely hinted on some of my posts that I get the new year blues sometime in January. I call it sad season. It usually comes every year. (Yes, there has been a song in the works, probably 2027!) I kept waiting for it this year and it never came! At first, I thought it was a sign of “yeah, I got this. I already know what’s going to happen. DUH.” Now looking back, I think sadness looked at me and went “LOSER. YOU AREN’T WORTH MY TIME THIS YEAR! YOU THINK YOU GOT THIS? GO AHEAD! HAHAHA!”

I started the year strong. I tried something new this year and took a vacation in January. I went to Florida! I’ve been on this earth 34 years and never made it to the Sunshine State until 2026…CRAZY. But unlike 55% of Michiganders, I LOVE winter! So there was part of me that felt odd leaving winter for much warmer weather. But as the wise Fill Wickhamm says, “When God gives you gravy, put all your biscuits in it.” With that in mind, I took the opportunity to go to Florida. (I have an AMAZING family. My Mom, Aunt & Uncle are to thank for Florida and I love them for it!) It was a great trip! I met up with some friends, went to an NHL game (Thanks again Garrick!) and got to meet a musical hero of mine, Stephen Christian from Anberlin at the church he pastors in Clearwater. My Mom and I got to see manatees through glass bottom kayaks. My Mom, Aunt, Uncle and I went on an airboat ride and saw SO MANY GATORS. Florida was an absolute treat! We got an extra day there too thanks to the snow back home! The rest of January and February were spent doing what I always do. Work. Band practice. Studio. Work. Driving. Work. Food. Shows. Hockey game. WORK. Hanging out with friends. WORK WORK. February took a pleasant turn…

I was extremely honored to get booked for 2 shows in February. One thing I am hopeful for in 2026 is to play more shows, but also play more meaningful shows. The first was at Promenade in Trenton, MI with Real Face and Sam Ule on their tour. Both of these guys are not just amazing artists (you NEED to check out their music!) but LOVELY humans. I was truly blessed to have deep conversations with both of them that I am still thinking about. The second was one of the most well ran and memorable shows I’ve played in my 20 years of doing this. WINTER WIND DOWN FEST. My good friend Nate and I drove 7.5 hours to Williamsport Pennsylvania (I didn’t know it was a real place until the fest), got in at 2:30am to a house we had never been to, got very little sleep, then woke up and went to WWDF. This weekend and experience was exactly what I needed, even though I didn’t know I needed it. God does cool stuff like that.

Why was WWDF so great? OMG LET ME TELL YOU! First, THE ARTISTS. So much talent. So much honesty. So much artistry! (you NEED to check out Anna Owens, Outward Conversation, Rusty Vining, Visitor Pass, Darlington, My Heart, My Anchor, Chris Bernstorf, Real Face, Gaffer Project, and Kevin Schlereth!) Second, WWDF takes care of their performers. We had a delicious meal, tons of snacks and beverages, and FREE COFFEE! (Josh Stone you are THE MAN!) Third, there was so much support from the artists for the artists. So many of us watched each other’s sets and the conversations and encouragements were genuine. No egos, just human connection. Fourth, the set up for the whole event (the venue, schedule, all of it!) was so smooth and the hard work and intentionality did NOT go unnoticed. Thanks to Josh & Kendra Mozug and the rest of the WWDF crew for all you did putting this fest together and making it run so well! All of this fed my soul and got me so excited for what 2026 could hold for Mi Landing playing more shows. The highlight for me as an artist was seeing people respond to my music (shouting for their favorite shoutout in Thank You Sydney), singing along on the “Baba badada" on Garden State, and specifying things they liked about my set. I left WWDF with a full heart, a lifted spirit, and excitement about the future. Yes, the future. That thing I said I had figured out for the year.

If you’ve read this far, THANK YOU. There’s a point to be made so please keep reading! Here’s the point…

I live a good life. I am blessed in so many ways and on the average day I am NOT thankful enough for how much God has given me. I have let my concerns and insecurity about my future drive me away from confronting the fear, so I have spent many months having fun, but being busy and keeping myself distracted and living in fear of “what IF the future is actually WAAAAAAY better than now?!” On the outside, things look good. On the inside, the air is running out and it’s getting harder to breath and I am so flipping tired. Sometimes we ask ourselves the same questions over and over but the truth is we don’t actually want the answers because that would take ACTION. Action can mean CHANGE. I’m almost 35, there’s been enough change, and now I have to have more? PASS. I keep asking “How long do I have to work 2 jobs? When will the music career finally take off? What am I supposed to quit? How can I quit when there’s so much to do? Does that last question even make sense?!” I say I want answers, but there is no action. There is no willingness to truly search for wisdom and courage to act on that wisdom. There is part of me that wants to FLIP things. But more of me is painfully comfortable with the fear. So…what do I do?

First, GET HONEST. I used to think talking out my thoughts (by myself, I try not to subject innocent people to the chaos of my mind!) was weird. Maybe it is, but it helps me. I finally took some time to be alone and get out all the thoughts in my head. It was brutal. But it was needed, and it was so helpful. Second, PRAY. I spent some time praying, asking God to help me, admitting I was struggling, asking for forgiveness, and asking for peace. AMAZING HOW MUCH BETTER I FELT. Third, identify the fears and Identify what is causing them. Fourth, make a plan. What steps can you take to get past the fear and move closer to bettering things? What are you truly willing to sacrifce to make things better? What can you FLIP because it’s killing you and you need to put it in the ground. What can you FLIP because they need light from the sky of hope and when they start growing you’re going to grow.

So, what the flip am I doing? Going from flipping out to flipping things over. Stepping out in faith. Surrending fears and doubt and walking in the truth that despite the imperfect human I am, I am loved by God and people in my life. I am given so much grace every day and I need to be better about giving it back. I don’t have all the answers, why would I want them? It has been refreshing the last week and half to not be severely mentally drained. It has been so nice that the anxiety has slowed in my head so I can fall asleep. SO THANKFUL to be getting good sleep. Please do not think I went from the depths to the mountaintop, because in no way is that the case. I’m not drowning anymore, but we are still swimming. But my head is above water, and my mind isn’t flooded. Hope is a great feeling (it’s more than a feeling…yes, you should go listen to Boston now!). I know myself well enough to know if I flipped something over into the light, I can sadly flip it back over to the darkness again. But maybe this time I can look back and act quicker, wiser, and find the light sooner.

I still have questions about my wild life. I’m still tired at times. I don’t want to work 2 jobs forever even if I love them both and love the people. I’m still going to play shows, even if I never get the hit song, the sold out crowd, or a billion streams (which is significantly less money than you think it is haha). But if I could play shows like WWDF and Promenade once a month and connect with artists and humans and drink coffee and have deep and meaningful conversations, I would gladly do it. If I can keep being impacted by and hopefully making an impact on the people at my church, I’m going to keep doing it. It has definitely challenged me in the almost 3 years of being there, but there has been growth to come from it and I know we’re not done. If I can keep driving all around metro Detroit delivering fresh roasted coffee beans to the wonderful customers of Sabbath Coffee (did I mention how cool the owner is? We used to be in a band! He’s probably not going to be happy when I write that blog but he can’t fire me so hahaha jokes on you T!) and eating lunch at Orchid Brunch (if you haven’t been there yet you NEED to go, tell them Paul sent you!) every Friday, I’m going to keep on driving.

Life gets wild. We will feel lost, not in control, broke, broken, tired, and frustrated. What can you flip to get better? Maybe it’s your faith. Maybe it’s a job. Maybe it’s a relationship. Maybe it’s being brutally honest with yourself about your fears and making a plan. As one of my favorite songwriters Ben Rector says, “Learn to dance with the fear you’ve been running from.” Flip fear on its stupid head and bury it. Life IS wild. But it’s SO beautiful!

Externally, I think things look the same. Internally, I’ve flipped. Thank God!

THANK YOUS- A special thanks to Chris Bernstorf for telling me to apply for WWDF and for booking me at Promenade. Chris is one of the best poets and one of the most powerful performers I’ve seen. He has quickly become a friend and you should definitely check out his poetry. Thanks again to the WWDF crew and artists who performed. I’m still feeling it, let’s do it again sometime! And of course, thanks to all of you who read this. Expect a monthly blog moving forward, I’ve already got the titles planned for the end of the year! Oh, you want a sneak peek? OKAY!

• Jesus Emo (April)

• Good Grief, God, & Remembering My Father (May)

• 2 Decades Under Much Inspiration (June)

• What If the What Ifs Were True? (July)

• Good Idea! Too Bad You Won’t Do it (August)

• Not Plain White Band T’s (September)

• 19 Years of “I Don’t Drink” and How I’m Still Messed Up (October) 

• That One Time I Missed Thanksgiving (November)

• Another One Down (December) 

Stay tuned. Through the ups and downs we go!

-Paul

I’m so excited to announce I’ll be going on tour with my good friend Zach Alexander at the end of August! Zach and I were in a band called The Okay, and we have been talking about doing this for 3 years. I’m so excited it’s finally happening! Zach has been working on a solo album and I’m going to be playing some songs off my next release. These shows are going to be fun and we are excited to meet all of you and hang out! I’m continuing my support of https://www.thenoveltycollective.org/ so 50% of my merch sales will go to them! They are such a cool organization and I have been so humbled by all of you who have bought merch so far this year and helped me support them! Check them out if you haven’t!

It’s been a wild year so far… I’ve had some severe lows, but now in this latter half of the year, I am seeing more clearly and things are falling into place. There’s still some bumps in the road, and I’m still figuring some things out, but I am so pumped for this tour and some things lining up for later in the year! If you haven’t, please check out the Mi Landing Podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/7oCEBQ8gyP5yu57Ul82tvI?si=123140d447bd4994 and know there are some even deeper episodes coming!

Thank you for being here, thank you for helping build Mi Landing, and thank you for your support!

Through the ups and downs we go!

-Paul

HelIo!

I want to take a minute to welcome you to my world. It means more than I can say or write that you are here, checking out what I do. Mi Landing is my heart and soul. I pour everything I possibly can into these songs, and soon, I will pour that same passion out into live performances!

Mi Landing has been something I’ve been developing since 2018. There’s been many ups and downs (you know, like what the arrows represent) many of which have been my own fault. There’s so many cliches about artists and musicians, and I’m realizing I bring many of them to life! Self-doubt, indecision, misplaced direction, but also passion, authenticity, and a longing for a deeper meaning. I do my best to explore creativity and beauty. Life is a journey through ups and downs, and sometimes, those experiences get put into song.

My sincere hope and goal is that when you hear a Mi Landing song, you are moved. You think. You feel. You act. This is just the beginning! If you’re here I want you to know, this isn’t just Mi (my) Landing, it’s your landing too!

through the ups and downs we go…

-Paul